Sophia T. Transcript

Okay, here we go.

Hi! My name is Sophia. I’m from Boston. And I honestly just like love being outside, very active. Like, I grew up with my siblings and my cousins, and we just were doing like every sport under the sun, like doing everything, like going to the beach, swimming, hiking, playing with the dogs skiing– everything.

And I played hockey growing up, and that was like my favorite sport– ice hockey. And I played it, like, competitively for many years. But my freshman year of high school, I was playing a hockey game, and I got a concussion. And it was kind of like one of those things like in hockey, it’s like an assumed risk, you know, you could hit your head, you know, it’s a dangerous sport, but it’s like, it’s fun, and we’re all playing together. And it’s like, we there are many safety precautions. Like we wear helmets, we wear protective padding, like we’re taught from a young age about, like keeping your head up, keeping your head on a swivel, like not going for people. Like, you can’t hit people’s heads, like it’s dangerous, you can get kicked out. But also like, if you do hit your head, like how to roll over so the impact is not just on your head.

So like, it’s always an awareness. And then like my dad had many concussions growing up, because he played football, like in high school and college, so he knew about it. And he knew that they were dangerous. So it was always kind of like a thing. It was just like, it could happen, but like we don’t want it to.

And then that happened in the fall of my freshman year of high school. I was playing hockey in a game, and I remember I got, like, tripped from behind. So like somebody took my legs out from behind me. And I just kind of fell right back straight on my head and landed and like smacked my head on the ice. I had a helmet. And I just remember like, I don’t really all I remember was that it hurt and then just walking away, and then getting on the bench and like losing my breath and like having a couple tears. I’m like, “Okay, no, I’m okay.” Like, and they’re like, “Okay, have a minute.”

I took a breath. And like in hockey, you change, like, you get on and off the ice, like every minute or so. So then it was my turn to go back on. I remember going back on and then just standing there and the game like the whistle starting and then just standing there and being like, “What..” and then I got dizzy, then I was like, “I gotta get off the ice.” And then I was like, “Something’s wrong.” And I remember my mother being there, and she was like, she’d like rushed over and she was like, “What’s going on?” The coach like, “I don’t know.” Then I was like, “I’m gonna be sick!” And I like thought I was gonna throw up.

So then the game, I don’t remember what happened next. And then I remember my mom be like, “Okay, we’re gonna go home. Like, we’re gonna take you to the doctor, like, you might have a concussion.” I was like, “Oh, no, I don’t know. No, I’m fine.” And then I remember like she was she was like, “Do you want anything?” I was like, “I’m so hungry.” So we went to Subway. And I remember standing inside with all these like fluorescent lights and just being like, so dizzy and nauseous that I threw up in the Subway, which is so funny to say being like, what like, I was like a 14 like-No, how was my 15 year old girl just throwing up in a Subway, like, that is just ridiculous. But it happened!

And then we went home. And then my dad– like I remember went to a dark room– my dad was like, “Oh no, we got to get to the doctor.” And so we made an appointment with the pediatrician the next day, and I went to my pediatrician, and she diagnosed me with a concussion. And then I don’t really remember much in that week, because I spent it like, in my room, like with the lights off– no TV, no phone, like my parents, like took my phone and everything away from me. Like not that I was going to use it because I was having like this horrible headache. And it was like, it felt like the worst migraine I could ever possibly have. Like, it was just bad.

And then I also, I’m a perfectionist, and I love sports, and I love school. And I’m like, “I gotta get back to school.” And I was so stressed and worried about that, that like, during this time, this was like the first time I really struggled with like, anxiety. And I didn’t really know what was going on because my head was hurting. And I was so worried about like, going back to school that I had a really hard time. But luckily my school and like my parents were like, really supportive of me. And my parents like advocated they’re like, “She needs help in school, like she can’t just go back in.”

So I was able to get into like this program for students who are out of school for a long period of time. And since I was out for a full week of school, I was able– I was eligible for it. And they’re able to like get me like short term accommodations. I think I got them for about two months, where like I could have like later due dates and like I could submit assignments late and I could listen to audiobooks instead of reading with the class. And I could take tests in like a quiet, separate space. And instead of like in the classroom with everybody, so I got like– and those were super helpful– and I would go there like once a day, like every day, you know, just like sit there quietly and do it. And it was like a room of other students, like, not all people with concussions but all struggling with similar things. And that was just like a really interesting time because it gave me an opportunity to get back into school. And it kind of gave me a purpose like looking back on it now. Because I was able to, like become a tutor for that program. And I was I went there the same amount of times I was there for my concussion I just slowly like one day he was like, “Oh, do you want,” like the teacher who ran it was like, “Do you want to help so and so with their math homework? Because you’re older and like, they need help.” and I was like, “Sure,” and then it kind of spiraled from there.

And I ended up like, tutoring from them every year after that, and just like would help anyone with like organization or different things. And that was like, really such a big sense of purpose that I loved. And like, oh, like, I’m gonna be a teacher now. So it’s like, it’s so it’s like, full circle for me. But I’m happy that it gave me that opportunity. But it was so interesting that like, I struggled so much. And it was like no one really understood it was like, hard to say, like, like, “My head hurts.” Like, yeah, my head hurts. But it was like, I was experiencing brain fog and like, sensitivity to light and sound like I remember like, going to the movies with my family and having to leave and sit in the car by myself, because I just think we were watching the Stork movie on like, the big screen. And I was like, “I can’t do this, like it’s too loud.”

And like, it was months later, and still trying to having to explain that when I was like, back at school, and I was like, pushing myself to like, compete at like, compete, like in my assignments, like, do your thing on time, then go back to sports. And I was like playing contact hockey again. And like very competitively, and I loved it. But I was like, pushing myself so hard that I was still feeling these. I was also like, experiencing like anxiety for the first time. So it took me like, like, on paper, I was like back in like classes and back to sports, then a month.

So on paper, I recovered within a month. But I really took me like closer to six months to like, feel like myself again. And part of what helped me was like the purpose of like helping other people who were out of school for a long time. And then also just going back to my daily life. And I also saw a sports psychologist at that time. And I had no idea what it was my parents like, “Oh no, this lady is really nice. Just talk to her.” And I was like, “Who is this lady?” Like, “I don’t know,” like, they didn’t explain any of it. But it was so nice to just be able to talk to somebody and like talk to somebody about like, what it felt like to be like, left out of my sport– Oh there is a fire engine going by– um, being left out of my sport, and not feeling like I’m doing well in school, and all this because my head hurts and all of us because I hit my head and like the repercussions of that.

And I saw her for a couple of months. And that was like my first experience with a therapist. And I’m so grateful I had that because I really think that helped me move forward.

And that’s really it.