Jasmine D. Transcript

I think I’ve had two concussions before. The first concussion was when I played Water Polo at the age of 19, and I got hit by someone so bad that I just felt like vomiting. I just felt really, really bad, like, I think, for a year, I didn’t know what was happening to me. I could cry for no good reason, and at that time, I didn’t know that that was a concussion. So, fast forward to my second concussion. I had my second concussion in a motorcycle accident two to three years ago. It was almost like a near death experience, and so I also didn’t think much about it, because, you know, the scars, the abrasions, all healed, until I went back to work and I realized that I couldn’t really go on my normal life the way I used to be. I used to be someone very active, being a competitive swimmer, very fit, and I used to have lots of energy to go about, like weekends without resting. So that was before concussion. 

But after concussion, it was really hard – it was really like an invisible injury. It’s just really hard to come to think of it; it’s really the most lonely feeling because you are left alone to recover. But fast forward to today, two years or three years after my very bad concussion from the motorcycle accident, I think I’m very proud of myself to to have tried all that good and making myself feel better during my recovery process, I tried a lot of things. Sadly, in hospitals, they cannot really help me that much because it’s not exactly an injury to the hardware, you know, where you know you experience fracture and all. So it is not that serious, but it is serious enough to affect your quality of life in terms of migraines that I used to not have at all and lack of concentration, focus, but I must say that the turning point came sometime last year when I experienced a vertigo episode. It is a condition called BPPV, benign, proximal, small positional vertigo, if I remember correctly. So when that episode happened, it was really very disorienting, and I didn’t know what it was at that time, and I suspect that that vertigo episode was also like a consequence of a concussion, because it typically happens to older people, and so for younger people, when it happens, it’s usually because of a past history of hit hits. So, the turning point was that time, because when I was treated finally from the vertigo, I was just really very thankful for the simple things that I can do after being treated from the vertigo. 

Yeah, so I think the main thing in the recovery was the focus on the mindset that you know, like, no matter how many times you are being pushed back. I mean, that’s the very nature of concussion. Like, whenever you think you are better, it might just suffer some setbacks of any sort, and it’s always unpredictable, and so you just have to accept what happened to you and to come up with new coping mechanisms. Some of the things that helped me include counseling from PTSD or just accepting the fact that you know, how to cope with concussion. Reading books also helps because when we read books, we know more about concussion and how to manage it more properly. I think family and friends would also help if they know more about concussion, because a lot of times people think that you are well by, you know, your appearance. 

So I covered how I was before and how I am right now after the concussion. So it’s a lot about accepting, like accepting the new you. I mean, there was a process of grieving, you know, over the past you that you wanted to get back to, but after a while, I think that the best way is to move forward. And I think neuro plasticity is also a very, very amazing thing, even though our brain is vulnerable, but it is also very resilient, and focusing on that potential of rewiring our brains would evade, I think a lot of us to just keep going forward and learn new things, or to take some time to rest, if our brains need that. 

I think there are a lot of learning points from, like, such a bad episode of concussion as well, like one of it is to just go at your own pace, listen to your body and brain and rest if you need to. I finally stopped comparing myself with others as well, because with concussion, every case is unique and different, and so there is no way to compare with other people. And hence, I think, especially, I think as an Asian, it is, it was actually a blessing in disguise, because for me, I was finally kind of forced to stop keeping up with the rat race and to just focus on my own recovery, to prioritize own health. Yeah, so there are a lot of learning points, but I think one of them is really to be very grateful for our brains, even though it’s injured. 

But I just want to share that it is not, it is not all too far gone. It is still possible to go at baby steps, one step at a time, and no matter how much setbacks the post-concussion journey gives, we can always choose to move forward, always. As long as we keep moving forward, then that’s the key to eventually seeing the light in the tunnel. Yeah, I think for most concussion episodes, or rather people who experience concussions like for me, I previously focused a lot on the injury itself, but I just want to say that sometimes, unfortunately, you know, it takes us to injure our brain to finally understand it and finally see the potential of it. And I think that is, fortunately or unfortunately, the greatest gift that concussion gave me: The fact that I am ever more curious about my brain, instead of external appearances, yeah, so I think that the brain is our superpower, and as long as we have some control over our brains, I think we should all try our best, by all means to make the best of its potential. Yeah.