Jeff H. Transcript

Hello, my name is Jeff. I’m a 62 year old architect. Being physically active is very important to me and helps me offset the stresses of being a self-employed architect with a busy practice. I have also used exercise including hockey, mountain biking, climbing, and skiing as a method to combat depression which is hereditary in our family. On March 10 2018, my neighbor Steve and I went out to clear and overgrown trail that our neighborhood owns and that I had built 16 years earlier. I logged in the woods of the Pacific Northwest, and Mount St. Helens eruption blow down from 1981 to 1983 to earn money for college, and had continued to fill trees for various people and projects since then. On this day, I operated the chainsaw, cutting down leaning trees and bucking up fallen ones while Steve operated a skid steer to move logs and widen the trail. I was out in front of him about a quarter of a mile by myself. I wear safety gear including a helmet with a face guard and chaps. I had cleared most of the trail the dangerous trees and bucked up the fallen ones and was on the last tree to fill. The tree was a large older tree that had another tree fallen into it. The tree leaned badly over the trail and because of the hung up tree, it had grown a big curve trunk. Alders are notoriously bad to cut because they are very unpredictable about how they will fall and have a tendency to explode from internal stresses. It’s even worse when they have another tree hung up in them, which are referred to as widow makers for a reason. Alders also tend to do what’s called “barber cheering” which is when a Fowler starts cutting into the trunk, the tree splits up the middle and out the backside, leaving his stump that looks like a chair with a tall back. The tree of the trunk then pivots on top of that tall back and can slide back at the Fowler or kick the saw up into their face or both. This all happens very very quickly in his killed or maimed many loggers. Knowing this potential, I chose my direction of fall due to the lean which was across the path we were clearing. Unfortunately, there was a sloped hillside up from the tree I was cutting I cleared my exit path, which is generally a 45 degree angle to the back and side of the tree to create a safe zone. I cut high on the tree so the tree butt or saw wouldn’t kick back into my face and only put my blade into the trunk a few inches when the tree exploded at the cut in barber chair as I expected, I jumped back into my safety zone and the tree fell where I planned, but rather than crash to the ground and stay there it uncoiled like a flattening bow on the uphill slope, then with the help of the dense branches on the top of the canopy– and the slope– recoiled and shot back up into the air about 10 feet and back from the slope towards me. I still have the saw running in my hand. And the last thing I remember seeing was the ragged butt into the tree a couple feet above my head moving very fast towards me. I turned to run, but the tree came down on the left side of my head crushing the helmet onto my head, then slid down the left side of my head, my neck and off my left shoulder. I’m not positive if I passed out or not. But I was on the ground amongst the fallen trees and branches and couldn’t see out of my left eye. I had blood running down both arms and off my face. The saw was still running where it had fallen a few feet from me, so I reached over and turned it off. I was going into the into shock and I knew it so I was fighting very hard to keep from passing out and maintain my composure. I also recognize that I needed to get myself out of there as there was no one except Steve that knew where I was. But I didn’t know how long it would be before he would find me. I said I decided to try to walk down the trail to him. I found him a quarter mile down the trail trying to get the skid steer unstuck from the mud. He took one look at me and turned white then jumped down off this skid steer and ran to me. He helped me back to the to our houses.

And after about 15 minutes the vision in my left eye started to come back but was very blurry. I was feeling a bit better at that point too, not so shocky. He offered to take me to the ER our local urgent care, but knowing the skid steer was a rental and we only had the day to get the work done, I told him to keep working and I’ll drive myself probably not the best decision in hindsight, given the circumstances. I drove the 15 minutes or so to urgent care and when I walked in, they rushed me back to a room and started checking me out. I was pretty sure my right arm was broken at the elbow. So they x rayed that, but it wasn’t broken– badly mangled, but not broken. They stitched up the cut across the top of my left thigh where the helmet had crushed down on me and cut me. In retrospect, it was clear the helmet had saved my life. I wasn’t aware at the time that I also had a couple of broken ribs. On my right side, a severely sprained right knee and a strained left shoulder. I also wasn’t aware of my impending concussion. They clean me up and sent me on my way. The next day the bruising set in in earnest, I was black and blue and swollen down both arms to the point that I couldn’t feel the ring finger and pinky on either hand, my ribs and knee had started to hurt by now and I had a very bad headache. I also was having haunting visions of the ragged butt end of the tree, just a couple feet of feet over my head, and that feeling of impending impact. Still, I felt remarkably good considering Steve was still trying to get the skid steer unstuck from the mud out on the trail. So I hobbled out to see if I could help. Together we worked for about three hours with chains and come alongs to try and free it. It finally came free and he went back to work and I went home to bed. The following day my headache was much worse. I was having difficulty thinking and felt like my emotions were very raw. The haunting vision of the tree butt was with me night and day, and I just wanted to sleep. Realizing I may have a concussion I called my doctor and she sent me to get a CT scan. Why the ER had not done one knowing what had happened to me only dawned on me later should have been done had I known what I know now I would have insisted on it. The fact that my safety helmet had been broken was a big clue they should have picked up on. The CT scan did not reveal any internal bleeding. Luckily, that didn’t rule out the effects of bruising or swelling however, which is what the headaches were being caused by. I also had this distinct sensation that the side of my head was sliding down my skull. I could only describe it like what you see in cartoons when the character’s face melts. I felt– kept feeling like I need to push it back up into place.

Doctor said I had a concussion and that I should avoid screens at all of all kinds, sleep as much as I need to, and stay quiet. I knew this wasn’t going to be possible for me to do since being an employed self-employed architect with several projects and deadlines on all of them. There was no way I could avoid screen time. I went home to my office and tried to work. That lasted about an hour before I needed to go lay down and sleep. Over the next few weeks, my routine consisted of trying to work for an hour or so, then sleeping an equal amount of time, all with a massive headache. My nerves were on a tight wire, and I had feelings of anxiety that I had never experienced before. My emotions were at the surface, and the sensation of my sliding face wouldn’t go away. Nor would the haunting vision of the falling tree. My body hurt too. I knew that it would be some time before I would be able to play hockey or do anything else physical again for a while. Over the course of several weeks, I had the stitches removed, the bruises healed in the shoulder and the arm felt better. The knee and the ribs were still bothering me.
But if I didn’t move around too much they were not disturbed. The headaches continued sometimes very strong and sometimes just an annoyance but always over my left eye. My nerves settled down to as did my emotions, but I was depressed. And the anxiety issues were still very strong. I had never been one to have anxiety. So this was very new to me. Even thinking about going and doing something I love, like playing hockey or riding my bike would set it off. The headaches were still there, and the need for sleep had tapered. But I was still sleeping 12 to 16 hours a day most days. I was also experiencing trouble recalling words and names in his short term memory issues. I had events where I would see shaped ring of bright lights with a triangular pattern that would last for several hours, then go away or bright stars of light circling around my left eye for a few minutes or longer. I sat down to dinner one night to pesto over pasta– one of my favorites. I took a bite normal spit it back out because it was so salty tasting. I asked my wife why it was so salty. And she said she didn’t use any salt. I took a bite to salad knit to tasted like someone had dumped a tablespoon of salt on it. Everything I tasted or drank for the next several hours tasted very salty. Then it went away. This happened twice over the course of a few months. Bright lights, stress, loud sounds, physical exertion, screens, seemingly everything brought on headaches over my left eye. The face sliding system sensation had diminished but was still there, as was the haunting vision of the tree butt coming at me. My memory issues were getting better, but I was still stumbling over my words and dropping the ends of my sentences. I had missed the rest of our winter adult league hockey season and playoffs due to this and really wanted to get back to playing hockey again. It was now summer league, so much more mellow level of play. And I want to at least try to play again, but my wife and some of my team mates were adamantly against it. “What if you fall in your head?! You could die!” was the consensus. Finally out of frustration, I chose to ignore that and went out to play again anyway.

It didn’t go very well. I was having issues with my physical ability, mostly for being so inactive for several months, but also the injuries. I was also having trouble tracking the play, even getting confused on which end was ours. Then the headaches hit in. So I’d sit between shifts, rubbing my forehead above my left eye trying to make it go away. Afterwards, one of my close friends told me to stop playing and told my wife about what he saw. Depressed and frustrated, I agreed. I decided it was time to go see a specialist for brain trauma. And met with a doctor from the University of Washington Rehab Medicine at Harborview Hospital in Seattle. She interviewed me and I relayed all that I’ve said here, her conclusion was that all the symptoms I was experiencing were very consistent with a traumatic brain injury, or TBI. Remarkably, though, she said that, after this amount of time, over three months by then, then going back and doing the things I love, like playing hockey was the best thing I could do. It helps restore those patterns in your brain that get messed up with a concussion, and helps with healing. I asked about the risk of hitting my head again, and she said that the first few weeks are the critical times for that risk. But after several weeks, that risk is very low. Obviously, she didn’t encourage me to hit my head again, and cautioned me to be careful. But she was very supportive of me going back to my activities, and, that by doing so, I would overcome some of the issues I was still having. I also asked about the long term effects and the risk we see with professional athletes. She said I most likely will not have any lasting effects from this long term. And the risk associated with professional class athletes is not relevant to me. If I was getting several concussions a year that would be different, but less than 10 over a lifetime is not that bad. As it turns out, she was right. I started playing again. And while I still had to think too much about some of the more basic aspects of the game than I would have liked, I was recovering.

Six months later, my wife told me I was still dropping the ends of my sentences on occasion, I still had word recall issues at times, and was concerned about the long term effects of this. But for the most part, I felt pretty good. The face sliding sensation had faded away for the most part, and I no longer had the PTSD from the vision of the tree coming at me. I still had minor headaches and above my left eye now and then, but I was working full time and sleeping a regular sleep cycle again. I was also playing hockey and mountain biking again, which made me much happier. A year later, things were much better. I have scars both inside and out. And some residual effects from it including word recall issues at times. I also get ocular migraines on occasion. But fortunately, those don’t lead to migraine headaches. I still get pain about my left eye, but not often. Drinking alcohol causes severe headaches within an hour of consumption. So I eliminated it altogether for several months, then tried it again in very small amounts. One beer per day, at most, that seemed okay. Yes, a bad concussion takes a while to heal and can cause changes, but most are very minor in the scheme of things. That’s very individual though. Stay social. Get back to your routine several weeks after the initial recovery period, sleep a lot and stay away from screens if possible. Most of all, don’t lose hope. It will get better and you’re not dealing with it alone. Thank you.