Hannah L. Transcript

My name is Hannah and I live in the UK. So I was training and racing as a competitive road cyclist, studying for a psychology degree when, in February this year I fell off my bike whilst on a training ride which resulted in me suffering from a concussion. 

So on the day of my accident, I went to the hospital and without having any scans or anything, I was just sent home with a leaflet telling me just to rest for 24 to 48 hours. So from that I just assumed that I would be okay again within a couple of days. But fortunately, I got a message from my physio telling me that I would need to take at least two weeks off on training because of the likelihood that I had suffered a concussion. So at the time I was quite frustrated that I would need to take two weeks off because I was stressing that I’d lose all my fitness and not be ready for the race season ahead. But when I look back now, I realize how small my perspective was back then, and how fortunate it was I was given this guidance because otherwise I probably would have got straight back when we’re training and more than likely felt a lot worse. So I think that does highlight the importance of listening to any guidance you get given from sports specialists and physios around concussion. 

So after two weeks I was still getting the same sort of symptoms, which for me are headaches, which are like migraine type headaches. So on one side of my head, also neck pain and fatigue, brain fog, I struggled to concentrate, and also suffered from low mood and feeling more emotional than usual. So after two weeks I was still getting symptoms. I was referred to concussion specialist doctors who I’ve also been seeing and I’ve been prescribed medications to try and help control my migraines and headaches. And also they’ve been helping me with eye exercises and balance exercises which I’ve been undergoing with my physio and also been getting neck massages and stuff on my shoulders to help with the neck pain. So I feel like without the support I’ve been getting from medical professions as well as from family and friends and reaching out to the mental health support that I’ve been also lucky enough to get from uni – I feel like without that I would have suffered a whole lot more because due to like not being able to concentrate and look at screens and just from like my fatigue and headaches I’ve had to make the decision to postpone my degree. So due to my concussion, I’ve had to stop studying. I haven’t been able to exercise, train or race on my bike. I haven’t been able to join in with my social situations and it has been a very isolating and a very challenging time. So it has led to me feeling depressed and having like very low mood. So I think that’s one thing that’s not spoken about or made clear with concussions, the effect it does have on people’s mental health and I feel that is something that definitely needs to be spoken about more because it’s an injury and illness that like people can’t physically see and it’s not something that people know can last for so long. So when people see you a few weeks or months after they know you’ve had your head injury, they assume you’ll just be fine again and genuinely generally you do look fine, or like on the inside you really don’t. And also with concussion like it’s just such a weird feeling. It’s really hard to describe how you feel, so it does feel really isolating to feel like no one quite knows how you feel. So I think the more people speak about it and the more people raise awareness of what it’s like and the effect it can have. Like that will definitely help. 

And I just feel like since my injury I’ve just had to let go of all the stresses and pressures that I had before. So like with my degree, I was always trying to like, make sure I did the best I could in terms of grades or like with my cycling, always try and do as well as I could in training or like in races. But now for me, being successful is more about being kind to myself. Prioritizing my recovery, being kind to other people around me helping people when I can, as much as I can; raising awareness for concussion, and like fun and also being able to like find new hobbies. So I know a lot more craft and like poetry, photography, and I now appreciate things so much more and like have new views and new perspectives on life and like it seems really weird to say it but I just feel like I do have a new sense of happiness, post concussion which is quite a strange thing to say considering, like the challenges I still face eight month later, but I think it kind of just simplifies everything and gives you a much different view on life that you now realize like what really matters and what truly makes me happy. 

So I feel like the main things that I would want people to take away from my story is just like reach out for help if you feel you need it like even when it can be really scary to speak about how you feel, it really does help once you talk to someone and someone always is there to listen and help you. Just taking that first step to say that you’re struggling or that you want to talk is the hardest part but once you do it, you do feel a lot better. So please do speak. out to someone if you feel you’re struggling. And also, please know that it’s not your fault that your symptoms are lasting a long time because for me I did blame myself a lot like that. I thought I was doing something wrong because I didn’t realize concussion could last as long as it has done. I just thought I’d be better than a couple of days a couple of weeks. So I just assumed it was something I had done wrong but turns out it’s not like people just take different lengths of time, so please don’t blame yourself. 

And also, like even though everything can seem really hard, really bad, just know that through the challenges you’re facing, you’re developing and learning so much about yourself and skills you can take forward into your life like now and once you are feeling better, such as self compassion, self awareness, and resilience and all these things like ready to take forward in your into your life that you can look back at this experience and be like wow, I made it through that and like to make it through anything. So like even though you feel like you’re not achieving anything right now, if you’re not doing a degree if you’re not doing well in your sport anymore, if you’re not able to work – you feel you’re just not really doing anything you actually are like you’re being a lot more productive and achieving a lot more than you ever realized. So just keep reminding yourself of that and just know that positives can come out of a situation that you think they can’t. So yeah, just please be kind to yourself and just know that you’re not alone going through this. Yeah, you can get through this together and hard times can still lead to positive things. So yeah, thank you