Sofia B. Transcript

Hello, my name is Sofia. I’m gonna share a concussion story, but from the perspective of both a friend and a daughter. So, when I was in about fifth grade, my dad and I– in a short version– my dad was in a really bad car accident. He was driving home late one night from work, and he hit black ice. We lived in Boston at the time and he hit black ice and his car spun out and hit a pole and the entire driver’s side of the car got completely crushed in. So the car basically, I saw photos of it after it looks like half the size because that had been totally wrecked. And someone riding the T by actually watched it happen and they called 911.

And the, you know, medical professionals and everyone came to help and somehow luckily my dad was okay.
But, he had broken his ankle. He fractured his ankle in a couple of different places. And he also had gotten a concussion from the whiplash of, you know, his head banging forward as as the car crashed and he, my dad is a doctor himself. So he was put into a into treatment and started undergoing surgeries, and I was pretty young at the time. All of this was just really scary and overwhelming for me. My grandpa flew in to help take care of me to help take care of my dad.

And I don’t even think I had a concept–I heard the word concussion thrown around– but I don’t even think I had a concept of what that was or what it really meant.

And usually my dad would be the one to explain that but because he was kind of in a more critical state where he wasn’t going to be like, you know, “don’t worry Sofia. This is what a concussion is, and blah, blah, blah.” So, I think that experience really, as I look back on it now, strikes me as probably what a lot of children and, you know, sons and daughters and family members what they might feel if their parents or loved ones are going through something and they don’t have awareness of it or the language for it, or even know how to help really.
Again, I was so young I just didn’t entirely have a handle on what was going on and how it could be helpful. I mean, I started adopting a lot more of a parental role in my own life, just because I needed to during that time.
But I didn’t know how to be a support system for my dad’s recovering and his healing, and I just remember him wearing his glasses because he had double vision from the concussion. And I don’t know that it felt like there was nothing I could do about it. And that’s such a tricky feeling to hold. And similarly, one of my really good friends got a concussion in college playing rugby.

And, you know, she told me about it over the phone, but I felt just so disconnected from the whole experience and from her healing.

And that’s really when I really started to realize the isolating nature of the injury of a concussion. And I was just struck by again that feeling of helplessness like, “What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to show up for you know, my loved ones, these people, especially if they don’t even know exactly what they need?” Because it’s such a tricky time. And the thing that I returned to again and again is to show up with as much compassion and love as possible.

I think that offers a kind of medicine, just like community does, that cannot be overlooked. So, if you’re someone who has a family member in your life who’s going through a concussion, or you have a friend and you don’t know what to do, start with just showing up for them even in the smallest ways. Being there to listen, being there, just to spend silence with them, or cook a meal or read aloud of book to any of these small ways. It doesn’t matter so much what you’re doing, I think as long as the undercurrent and the intention of love is there, and just make sure to you know, keep taking care of yourself because I think it’s underestimated the impact that a concussion can have on family and friends as well as actual concussion patients. So don’t neglect your own needs. Nourish yourself, your body, your emotions, your mind, soul– all of that. And from that place, I think you can be a source of healing and love and stability for the people in your life who are hurting and recovering.

Thank you.